Like A Fresh Pair Of Batteries

Lately I’ve been having mini episodes of the quarter-life-crisis. I’m beginning to realize it's a recurring theme in your 20s. It comes when you have the desire to change everything and feel something new. In November of this year, I will have my 3 year anniversary at my current job. I think to myself, what have I done since I’ve graduated college besides work and take a few trips here and there? Why do we long for dramatic changes? And why am I too chicken to make them happen? When a new job comes up, or a promotion happens, or you take a fun trip somewhere, or you purchase a new car--you satiate that craving for something new--at least for a moment. Then life is good. But when the novelty wears off the feeling of inadequacy and lost potential comes back.

Sometimes, though, you don’t need something overtly drastic to recharge and feel alive again.

This guy that I started talking to on OkCupid and met up with in New York back in May (I guess he’s kinda cool or whatever) visited LA for the first time. I showed him around – everything from the beachy vibe of Santa Monica to the gritty gentrified feel of Silverlake (and even some parts of the hot-ass San Gabriel Valley and Pasadena). As I showed him around, I felt like i was rediscovering these places--almost like I was on vacation...at home.

On his last day, I drove him to the airport at 4:30 in the morning. Slightly cranky, but reflective more than anything, I got that feeling you get when you near the end of a trip. Reality sinks in and you realize you have to revert back to your "regular" life and pick up the comforting yet mundane routine that you've adopted in order to feel a sense of control. The spontaneity dissipates.

After I dropped him off at LAX, I rushed back home with the hopes of getting a few more hours of sleep in before I had to go into the office. Suddenly, life was ordinary. My bed was empty. My dinners were solo. My nights were quiet. As I left LAX, I realized that I saw LA for the first time again. I didn’t need to move to a different city, take an exciting trip, or apply for a new job to feel new. He gave me a different perspective on the city that I’ve learned to love in spite of everything I hate about it. It felt new...so new.