hatin' on the club - pt 2

i didn't think much of the encounter at the club. i sorta saw it as affirmation that my mojo is back. not exactly a "omg omg omg omg omg!" feeling. more like a "yep...still got it" feeling. on a whim, i decided to call him. our conversation was reassuring. he seemed like a fun guy. a singer, apparently. a transplant from wisconsin who is an aspiring singer. a singer with accolades to his name. local celebrity, i guess. he told me he was going to feed the homeless later that night. i felt a mix of laughter and admiration. because, really...who says that? i was caught off guard but impressed by his giving nature. i was excited to hang out with him...BUT, i still wasn't feeling "omg omg omg omg omg"---yet.

on monday night my hip hop class at LA Fitness was cancelled so i decided to free up my night to hang out with this singer. i went to his place in k-town. when he came to get me, i was shocked at how...tiny this motherfucker was. not even short, TINY. i mean, talk about the lollipop guild welcoming me to munchkin land. was i that drunk? whatever, i kept an open mind.

i walked into his place and he told me "it's filthy." it wasn't filthy. it was unsanitary. it was a landfill. it was like a garbage truck manifested itself into a person and shat all over the place. piles of dishes from 4 months ago accumulating in the sink. gross. then i realized that since "singing" doesn't pay the bills, he works at a pot store part time. and for my birthday, he gave me some pot. at least the munchkin singer was nice and thoughtful. but as i looked at his place, i realized, he has a makeshift room in the living room--curtains separating the 3'x6' living room from his..."room". he's 31. with a makeshift room in the living room. whoa.

we were supposed to get yogurt but he couldn't find his wallet in the mess that is his life. so we sat on his couch and "talked." his actor roommate came home and the two of them started talking about their gigs. how they're rising stars. how they've worked so hard and this year will be a good year for them! they're gonna make it! i felt like a fly on the wall. i might as well have been invisible. when the actor retreated to his room, singer decided to continue to talk at me...not to me, but AT me. about his meeting with the VP of Clear Channel. and his meeting with some executives at NBC. and how KROQ will be playing his songs on rotation soon. listen, transplant, i wanted to say. i grew up in southern california. i'm immersed in the indusry. i'm jaded. this isn't impressing me.

every time i spoke up to insinuate "hey it's my turn..shut up," he just kept talking...and talking...and talking. i got so bored and felt so disrespected that i purposely tilted my head back and stared at the ceiling. he continued to talk..and somehow, he started talking about america and capitalism. how he hates corporations like starbucks and mcdonalds because "america wasn't founded on those princples. the people who came to america wanted equality and for everyone to get a piece of the pie. not to kill the mom and pop shops...the way mcdonalds and starbucks does....you're bored, aren't you?'

"kinda. but anyway, you're wrong." i told him.

"how so?"

i'm not one to talk about values or american history but, i had to speak up.

"well people who came to america didn't want equality for everyone. they came here because they didn't agree with the church in england and they wanted to practice puritanism freely. so they came here with selfish intentions. then on top of that, they killed off people who were already living here. then they created the constitution...for the white man. the constitution wasn't written to take into account minorities. it was for the white man to progress. how is that about equality and everyone having a piece of the pie?"

"oh. is that what they taught you?"

WHAT IN THE HELL!?!?!

"uh no. that's american history. that's what YOU should've been taught. it's in the textbooks."

"well that's not what i learned growing up."

"is that what they taught you in wisconsin? because it's wrong."

"this is weird..."

"yeah. well...that's what you should've been taught."

it was uncomfortable for a few minutes after. i was trying to figure out how to get out of the situation. he got a text from a friend and i immediately found that as my exit. "i should leave. i have work early and i have to get up at 6am." (i never wake up at 6am for work).

"okay. thanks for hanging out on a school night. are fridays usually good for you?"

"yeah. friday nights are good to go out." (and that's the truth...i go out on friday nights.)

"cool. i'll call you on friday!"

i walked out of his apartment and suddenly i felt it. the "omg omg omg omg omg omg" feeling. the "omg what the fuck was that?" feeling. the "omg he's like 2 feet tall" feeling. the "omg, he's stupid and thinks america was founded on values and princples" feeling. the "omg...i hate meeting people at clubs" feeling.

O
M
G

i thought this munchkin singer was cute?!?! this stupid, arrogant transplant from wisconsin...munchkin singer!? how drunk was i?!



got me hatin' on the club.