the green haired monster vs. the green eyed lover

he's a hair artist. (how that's different from a hair stylist? i'm not quite sure.) he messaged me on okcupid. i looked at his profile and made up my mind that his green hair with the weird spiderweb design on the sides just wasn't to my liking. so i ignored him. but he was persistent and sent me another message. for shits and giggles i actually responded. as i wrote my generic response, i caught myself. i was supposed to be open about dating. bald, old, fat, shy...whatever. i was doing this dating thing to meet people, have fun, and possibly learn a little something about my preferences and what i can and cannot take.

we got to talking and he actually grew on me. he seemed playful and witty and kept my attention. he's was born in the philippines. moved to the united states when he was 5. he used to dance on a hip-hop team at cal state northridge. "let's be perfectly honest for a moment," i told him, "tell me your impression of me based on my profile. then i'll tell you what i thought about yours. no sugar coating." his answer didn't satisfy me. he told me he liked my smile and thought i was funny. i rolled my eyes and let him have it. "well, honestly, i looked at your profile and thought we wouldn't get along. i thought you were one of those scenester kids who has funky hair and a distinct sense of style and has a certain preference in pretentious indie music. i was so ready to dismiss you. you'd never get along with me. a guy who indulges in top 40, watches reality show trash, and has a corporate job. i just thought we'd never mesh. but i'm pleasantly surprised."

when we hung out i felt comfortable around him. i was at ease with the conversation but i couldn't bring myself to look at him. green hair. green hair. he has green hair. was all that crossed my mind.

i'm trying really hard to be open. to stop passing judgement so quickly. i think it's fair to say that in this situation, i was open. i hung out with the guy. we had a nice encounter. but i just can't bring myself to overlook the green hair. i typically prefer a clean cut, handsome kinda guy with a touch of funky style. he wasn't it. although he didn't fit that mold i kept texting and calling him. i had to wonder why. maybe it gave me a sense of comfort knowing someone was interested in me and i had to hold on to it. maybe i thought that if i kept on hanging out with him, i'd start to like him. i could overlook the green hair and i'd find him attractive as i learned more about him. maybe?

but the green haired guy doesn't stand a chance against the intriguing aquarius. extremely adorable, endearing, witty and sooo fucking handsome (at least to me). i messaged him first. he used big words in his profile and as a self-proclaimed lover of words, i decided to tell him how much i loved his profile because of his vast vocabulary (although i honestly didn't understand the majority of what he was saying. and i guess the real reason i messaged him was because i thought he was cute.) i love the fact that he's a total geek. on a typical friday night he's playing video games or reading a book (not just any book...sci-fi!) i know!?!?! what the fuck? the fact that he's so different from me in that sense is what i found most attractive. he's half filipino, half scandinavian (HOT!!!). he used to be a chubby kid. he has beautiful green eyes. he makes me...melt. but he's in san francisco. :(

i quickly started crushing on this guy (despite the distance). i wanted to know every piece of information about him. his sibling's names. his birthday. what he ate for lunch. what his work out schedule was. "you're so cute sometimes, nick." he said to me when i jokingly told him i'd move to san francisco if i had a good reason to *wink*. and after that, i was putty in his hands. "i like you," he continued, "there's depth to you. that's rare in people." i ate up the sweet talk faster than a fat kid eats ice cream.

but while our conversations were fun and i went ga-ga over the fact that i wanted to rip his clothes off, he started to act so aloof and inattentive. he wouldn't answer my calls or respond to my texts. i was livid. but all of that aside, i'm still so stuck on this guy. perhaps i've idealized him (like i always do).

it made me have a 'sex and the city' moment because as i lay in bed thinking about the men i've encountered, i started to wonder: how many imperfect encounters must we go through until the person becomes perfect? maybe this green haired monster will never be to my liking. maybe i draw the line at green hair and spiderweb designs on the side of a person's head. i'm no longer pursuing anything with the green haired monster but i still have hope for the green eyed lover. i'm a fool, aren't i? the guy is in san francisco and doesn't even answer my phone calls. maybe i'm really only in this for the chase?