say cheese

that old cliche, "a picture is worth a thousand words" is so appropriate when i see some of the pictures that people post on these dating sites. except most of these pictures are only saying 3 words: "i'm - kinda - lame." is a bathroom picture really necessary? you know...the ones where you're holding your camera (or if you're cool enough, your iPhone) up as you stand in front of the mirror and take a picture of yourself. it just looks silly. what did you do? take a dump and feel a sense of accomplishment so you decided to document the event by taking a picture of your reflection? because if that's what you did, then i guess a bathroom picture makes sense. and god-forbid you actually smile because that would be so uncool. so you have to put on this semi-sexy look that screams i know you wanna fuck me or this 'hardcore' look where you tilt your head back and you have this smirk on your face that says i'm so cool it hurts. cuz to me, it just looks like you're constipated.

but the pictures that really make me laugh are the ones i like to call 'the money shot'. this is where the person extends their arm over their head and then looks up at the camera . it kinda just looks like they're staring up at you before you cum on their face. i guess certain people just look more attractive when you're looking down at them. but really...what is so disgusting on your body that you can't take a normal picture that includes a clear shot of your torso?

i try not to be so dismissive when i see these pictures but when i see them i get the impression that the person is really vain. you have to love yourself a lot..like A LOT...to walk into the bathroom with your phone and just stand in front of the mirror striking various poses as you take pictures of yourself. i always thought of the bathroom as a place to either brush your teeth, take a shower, or use the toilet. and sometimes, to have sex. but to take a picture of yourself? and as far as 'the money shot,' -- it really makes me laugh because i keep imagining what the person would look like if they got a load in their eye. i know...bad.

can't people just stand up straight and smile? it'd feel more genuine and less self-indulgent.